the Ether Bunny (ninjalicious) wrote,
the Ether Bunny

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Tastes like chicken

This feeling of tingly numbness that makes me marvel I can even type, where my innards feel light and frothing, eyes wide yet not seeing, and this taste in my mouth, in my throat, of my heart risen and attempting escape...

I want to take it away. Crush it under my heel. I want to smile only. I want to be more than human, above these feelings that make me tremble with fear, feeling my weakness. Talking, not even face to face, I feel a pang and cover my chest with my arm, as if I could so blatantly protect myself from harm, shield my tender insides with a flawed exoskeleton, made of flesh like all the rest.

I get in the car. That's a whole 'nother story in itself. The ability to subvert concentration. Driving soothes me. Traveling through the world almost invisible. Singing. Transferring focus to the external. But today I have no gas $, and must return.

I can still taste my heart, I am still forcing my arms into motion.

I don't want this. I just want happiness.

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