the Ether Bunny (ninjalicious) wrote,
the Ether Bunny
ninjalicious

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a Queen of Infinite Space

I spent the past few hours with The Cuckoo. (And his woman, and another friend of theirs.) In the car, clove smoke curled up and over and out the windows. Chain smoking cloves, still. How the hell..? And the same clothes, the same makeup. I keep thinking of the time before the smoke and eyeliner and fishnet sleeves. It makes me feel... uncomfortable.

The rest of the time was just chat and catching up with how others are doing. Planning for future parties and feeling a definite disappointment that neither of us had a Good Friday BBQ. (I got someone to eat meat [and forgave his sin, of course. ;)], and learned the Pirate's Alphabet, and sung the Chimneysweep song from Mary Poppins, and spelled out silly things with rocks, and spotted things, and ran with scissors, and.. and.. well no BBQ. *sigh*)

But anyway, where was I? Spending so much time with ex's lately. I don't know how I feel about it. It's one thing that one of my two best friends is also someone I lived in sin with for 4 years. That is something I can explain, at least in a way that makes sense to myself. But then, other things keep circling back to other people, and any time I talk with *other* people (Re: Outsiders) about any of it, all I get is how nobody else does this.

I'm not unhappy about it. But I don't know how I feel. Uneasy, cautious, thankful, curious, and going on and on.
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