August 16th, 2005

Tastes like burning

"all-around learning-proof"

Last weekish I had a dentist appointment, and had to remove my turtle earrings for the panoramic x-ray. When the dentist's helper said I'd have to take them out, as fast as my head was nodding and hands reaching up to pull at them, all I could think about was that occasional Living City adventure that'd take high-level adventurers and require them to strip nude of any/all magic items before beginning/continuing/finishing the adventure. Because Living City characters do not take off, set down, or look askance from a magic item once it is picked up, felt up, looked at. It may have been a +5 vorpal sword or a feather that grants a 1/2 + vs tickling or a giant fucking armoire that you had to carry on your back and the only benefit it granted was "magical heaviness", if it was a magic item it was not hitting the floor, not separating from skin not for anything. Anything other than.. the prospect of more magic items. If you told the adventurers that the only way they could possibly survive the wonky magical transportation to the plane that mysteriously can't be accessed by the adventurers' godlike items and spellcasting is without wearing any magical items, they'd reluctantly remove them, murmuring dissent and casting spells the whole way about it, and still by the end of it all, at least a few adventurers would have said fuck this and gone home and a few more would have exploded from trying to sneak that pearl of wisdom they sewed into their skin* past the guards.

Now every time I go shopping I'm reminded about this by the earring-bulge in my wallet's zipper pocket, the earring bulge that's been there since that afternoon at the dentist's, and I think, I should really take them out of there, at least so as not to stretch a bump in the leather, but I don't 'cause I'm pretty sure I'm not going to put them back in and I'm afraid I'll lose them otherwise.

*editor's note: not hyperbole.
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    I swing it around to see if it's magical