Outside, a kid is screaming "Open up!", while someone knocks loudly on the door. It started about fifteen minutes ago with a slight tapping on the wide front window, an adult Fishtown hag cooing baby-cat-talk (as best as someone who's spent their life smoking and shrieking can coo), and the occasional "Kitty kitty!" from one of the kids. The tapping trailed off and the scratchy adult voice started repeating "Say goodbye! Say goodbye! Say goodbye!", over and over and jesus christ over. "Say goodbye". Must have been 3 solid minutes of repeating two words to kids well trained in the art of ignoring. Intrigued by the noise, two more cats jumped into the window. I went upstairs. There was a knock at the door while the kids yelled "kitty!" stuff all over again. Then more knocking. Loud, long knocking. A kid shouting "Open up! Open up!" Knocking knocking fucking can't you take a hint and leave us alone knocking. Insistent, oblivious knocking. Since beginning to type this, someone jiggled the mail slot loudly as well as the continued asinine knock. The mail slot opens directly into the living room. Is it legal to taser someone for opening a 2 inch by 6 inch window into your house? I wish I still owned pepper spray.