June 8th, 2004


(no subject)

I have a creeping crud moving through my body, working from both ends towards the middle. A few days ago I got this full-body flush that lasted all day, plus intense ankle soreness. The next morning my wrists were very sore as well, and while the torso portion of color was cleared, my legs were bright red, arms much less so but still noticeable. Over the course of that day into evening my ankles started to ease up, wrists getting worse, and my feet started feeling irritated in a generalized way. The next morning, ankles almost clear, wrists slightly better, but my hands were stiff and sore and my knees started to feel stiff. This morning, my ankles feel mostly fine, wrists seem fine when not trying to lift anything, but my hands and knees are still very stiff. I imagine tomorrow my elbows will freeze up, and this will eventually move from both sets of extremities into my hips and shoulders. The Boy thinks it's residual pain/injuries from all the moving, I'm not too sure. True, I did pull just about every muscle I typically move in the stairmaster from hell that was moving a very packed apartment down three flights of stairs in a million small bags/trips, but it seems so far away. Plus, I just don't understand the phases aspect in that context. Either way, I'm not taking any meds.. I'm just paranoid about prolonging or exacerbating any injuries 'cause I feel fine.

It's weird waking up with my hands so stiff. I remember years ago when I worked at a job that featured long hours of repetitive hand movements, I would wake up every morning not able to move my fingers, hands shooting with pain as I tried to slowly stretch them out for the new day. It's funny the kinds of things people care about. People give each other so much advice and suggestions and trying to help out nonsense.. to the point where most of the people I knew who had anything to say about my employment considered that job so good and so worthy to stick around for and keep together, the job where I was in pain every day and literally injuring my body on an ongoing basis. The jobs where I was never in pain over and never got hurt during, those were the shit jobs to leave behind, the things I should try my hardest never to so much as glance over my shoulder at. People know nothin' 'bout nothin'. I don't like pain. Not for me, not for you.
  • Current Music
    a quiet hum of machinery
What'cho talkin' bout everyone!

gesprenkelt panzer mensch

"I bet you hate them."

No, I say a million and one times, I don't. Sure, I'd like to know what I'd look like without them. Sure, whenever anybody asks that whole "Ifyoucouldchangeonethingblahblah" line the words "No freckles" shoot from my mouth faster than the speed of sound. That doesn't mean I hate them. That just means I have curiosities. Stop accusing me, presumptive motherfucker.

In the interest of science I note: That doesn't look anything like my face. It warps in the camera.

In the interest of reciprocity I note: I took that pic when I took the bruise pics, after waking up in the night. I'm one of those people who takes a shower at 11pm, puts on makeup, then goes to bed. It's because I'm a horrible person.

In the interest of interest I note: I can see my hands holding the camera in my eye. It's an unusual vision. So different than simply knowing they're there.
  • Current Music
    The Smiths - I Won't Share You