December 9th, 2001

(no subject)

I've been ignoring a series of nightmares recently. Shaking them off when I arise and pushing them into the corners of my mind. Two specific dreamscapes, one for each parent. Each involves heated arguments, shouting, anger. No discernable beginning.. just normalcy, then hate. It makes me feel somewhat antsy about upcoming X-mas celebrations.

In other news. I've made a decision about the Paxil. I've been taking it for just over a month now, I have a month's worth left. (In theory, anyway.) I've decided to up my intake of these last pills out of curiosity, then that's it. It seems ok.. I've been "freaking out" much less. But I'm still not happy with the thought that any sense of calm is fraudulent. In the words of a certain someone, "I could be so fucked up I'm sticking toothpicks in my face, but at least they're my toothpicks."
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