November 10th, 2001

(no subject)

I had this dream last night, like they always have on TV but I don't know if I'd ever had one like this before. The kind where you dream that you are dreaming, and wake up, but you're still fast asleep, still dreaming. I don't even remember what the first dream was.. but in the second portion, I woke up at my mom's house. Walked around petting cats, Yob in particular was very very small.. not like a kitten, just miniature normal shaped. I was carrying him all around and started to realize I was still dreaming. I recall frantically trying to wake myself up.. it felt.. indescribable. Almost exactly like those lame scenes we're so familiar with. There wasn't even anything wrong to be afraid of.. nothing to necessitate a hasty arousal. But I felt this senseless sense of urgency. In the end, I don't even know if knowing helped me wake up, or if the dream played itself out regardless of my frenetic wishes. When I did wake up, I felt calm. Not the slightest trace of urgency or fear.

Part of me feels a-feared by the whole ordeal. But... I think that's just the part of me that's programmed to fear. It's not like I never had a nightmare before, eh?
  • Current Music
    Bjrk - It's Oh So Quiet


got this feeling when i heard your name the other day
couldn't say it couldn't make it go away
it's a hard place can't be friends we can't be enemies
it's just too much feel the weight crushing down on my face

the hardest part is things already said
getting better worse i cannot tell
why do good things never wanna stay
some things you lose some things you give away

/and again

Nothing I can do that I have not done.
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see.
So must I let this end so everything falls apart.
Before I live the life as I have always done.

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.
So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.
I cannot return. I can't start again.


I carved my initials into your heart
Against your will
I handed the knife to you, I lie here still
Believe not what you see or hear
Only what you feel
I've seen the greatest love stories
Inception to climax to end

Our foolish pride
We must conquer all
In our mightiest words
Our weakness lies
Stab Time

(no subject)

And the Pet Peeve of the day is:

People who spend most of their time on ongoing forms of mass communication.. be it LJ, messageboards, e-lists, whatever.. to tell everyone they like how very speshul they are and how dearly much they lurv them. It's like when they learned that one earliest lesson, they never gave a second thought to any other form of give and take. Flattery will get you lots of hugglez, yes. And every once in a while maybe someone who actually cares about you will slip in.. maybe. But when you've degraded your social interactions to the point where you're lacing every posting with affirmations of "I love you ALL!" and liberal slatherings of the ever-popular "I don't know what I'd do if I didn't get lots of fawning attention from hordes of strangers!" and suchly.. well.. you piss me off.

I guess that's it.

Ok, not my best rant, but I had to vent some bile somewhere.

(And to curb any misunderstandings before they start, if you're on my friends list you are not in that category. It's not that I hate people complimenting each other at all or pointing out specific points of swellness.)
  • Current Music
    Cake - Daria