July 30th, 2001

(no subject)

Just when I was getting really frustrated about how things ended up with the Ninja, we start talking a bit again. It's very pleasant to me. I think maybe he's actually realizing that when I said I just wanted him to be happy, it wasn't a line. So I'm PJ'ing it again, and I don't know if I've ever enjoyed hearing about someone else's girlfriend so much. He still seems to think he has to just make due with whatever presents itself to him. What is it about mind over matter that people seem to find so complicated?

So I'm getting ready for GenCon.. leaving Tuesday evening. And g0ddamn, but my shoulder is killing me. The muscles straight across my shoulder blades are all tied into a tight, painful knot, and I'm not even sure why. There is no rhyme or reason. No black and white. Fuck, not even a hazy grey puddle to muck around in searching for treasure. Just mindless pain. I'm beginning to think it's based in my situation with a certain nameless person. (I've been trying to think of a fitting title, nothing presents itself yet.) But oh yes. Back to g33kfest. I think I'm gonna end up spending every night in the Safehouse. Every afternoon in Goolsby's. Or the dealer's room. Fuck the actual gaming. I don't have my RPGA shit in gear anyway. And how much time will I spend in the proximity of the Demon? Oh yes. Of course the Demon will be there. And I wondered why I was stressing?

The most peaceful part of the past few days was hearing Everybody Hurts on the way home last night. *sob* *sway*
  • Current Music
    R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts

"Cause of death: Virgin Mary"

I could get used to this Roxicet. Tonight is a night of a dozen 7-day candles.. the ones with saints and bloody Jesus's all over them. I can just sit and smile and feel so good, nothing is wrong in the world tonight. Nothing is broken. I feel him feeling me, feeling him.
  • Current Music
    If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you