"I don't know how anyone could live without vinegar. It's almost as good as having a maid!"
S.P.Rockets got his first taste ever of DOG this morning and almost took the arm off the vet's assistant. I'm glad his once-over was fine, I always wonder if there's something I've neglected, some aspect of kitten care I just never knew, or forgot.
There's a guy who looks remarkably like a certain pope's brother on Cops right now. Sitting in the back of a cop car. Looks natural.
I wonder if bands have a clue how ridiculous domestic violence songs actually sound? Same goes for comeback songs that include lyrics about not being held/kept/shackled down. (Bon Jovi - Bounce, I'm looking in your direction.)
I am the kind of person who slams caffeinated beverages pre-all. (Which is to say, I have a caffeine headache.)
There's so many minor errands I should be doing right now. I feel like I have mono. No, that's just the caffeine headache.
My mom tried to yank my chain back to church today. The conversation refused to divert.
Do you remember when we went?
The van was struggling going up hills
I couldn't pray because your father kept yelling at me
Was afraid he'd hit me
(you misleading cunt, he never, ever hit you.)
And you prayed in the spirit the whole way there
The campground had a mechanic they called in
Just happened to have the part we needed
(I am giggling at this point, like a fiend)
When he pulled it out, cracked in two
Fell into pieces in his hand
He said it was impossible to drive cracked
And you had prayed in the spirit for four hours, the whole way there.
I didn't bother attempting to suggest said engine part broke after we stopped, or to mention that I drove a car with a cracked engine block for 7 months (without prayer, that is), or anything else. I allowed the conversation to drop off abruptly, tried to make Siouxsie look like a cat (instead of some big fat thing lounging on its side), and took up the normal conversation after the would-be-awkward silence.
I'm dreading xXx-mass.