the Ether Bunny (ninjalicious) wrote,
the Ether Bunny

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I feel like I swallowed my hospital bracelet. Somewhat feverish. I cried a lot while waiting to be seen. After waiting for about 2 hours in the normal waiting room, someone told me I could lie down in some empty area just off the cafeteria. At first it was simply physical. Once the switch is flipped, however.. It was good, in that way that expulsion can be. I just lied on my side sobbing into my jacket. Realized I hadn't cried much recently. Too much with everything. At some point an old guy in a white uniform came and ushered me back to the waiting room, hostile. I didn't care, didn't try to compose myself, just yelled at him that they said I could be there. Getting to the desk she told me to ignore him and go back if I wanted to. He flapped and stuttered. I returned to my indulgence.

My stomach feels all upside down. My air feels somehow both thin and clouded. There's this tiny voice shouting from the depths to just ignore the mental junk and let my body heal, don't worry, lie down, don't think, let your body function itself in peace. But the ME part shouts FIX FIX FIX! Make air breathe right! Reach down throat and turn your stomach the right way!

I think the tiny voice has a point.

I can't help but feel I'd spend a lot less time online if I stopped promising myself to stay away from the computer for a while.

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